CALL ME MR. J
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About Mr. J♥ «
Headcanon♦ «
Alexander Gordon Smith, Fugitives
The twins smiled. The way their Harlequin gave orders was funny. Had she been that bossy when she was still a doctor? She must have tried to be friendlier to them. Either way, they liked it. It was similar to how they had sounded when they first got lackeys, a long time ago.
And soon they’d have even more dopes to watch Harley boss around. They grabbed their new Mother’s hands again, overjoyed by the prospect. She was so much fun. It was a shame that she wouldn’t share a bed with them. But maybe they could persuade her to do that too, over time.
Harley smiled back at them. ”So, whaddya wanna do while we’re waitin’? They’d need something to take their minds off their stomachs. So would she.
“We didn’t pick bedrooms yet,” they said.
The beds were the same size in either room, so they couldn’t pick based on that. And the bed had always been the most important part to them.
Harley raised her eyebrow, “Alright then.”
She let them lead her back upstairs, their smiles so wide and well, identical as always. She smiled too, glad these were happier times now, and that hopefully it would stay happy times for a long while.
Although she knew the twins wanted to eventually attack Arkham Asylum. She would gladly help them with that, but hopefully it could wait for like a month or two.
Back upstairs the the two walked into the first bedroom Harley had been in, turning to look back at her.
“Did you try out the bed?” They asked her.
“Well um, I sat on it while I wrote on the notepad.” She shrugged, not understanding what they meant.
They looked at each other and then shook their heads, immediately starting to undress each other quickly.
They wanted the full experience while they were judging them, after all.
Their Harlequin looked confused, but they ignored it as they finished undressing and got into the bed together, snuggling together with their bodies entwined as always and their heads resting on the pillows.
sleeping naked is very dangerous bc if someone breaks into your house at night it would be very embarrassing to fight him off while naked
((I’m sorry but I can see the Joker scaring away intruders in his hideout like this one night or something similar to this. oh jeeze it would be horrifying. ))
They smiled at that one. It sounded like the sort of game they would be good at. The twins knew all about murder weapons and crime scenes.
“There’s Apples to Apples…” Which reminded her that she should make sure they got a deck of cards too. Let’s just get those three and see if you like any of ‘em.”
Brother and SIster still weren’t sure what a monopoly was or what apples had to do with games. But their Harlequin must know these things, so they nodded.
She finished writing the items they’d discussed.and stood up.
“I’ll give this to the guy downstairs, okay?”
They followed after her. Letting their Harlequin stay in a different room was one thing, but they weren’t ready to have her on a different floor of the house than them. The memory of the Bat swooping in and spoiling things was still fresh on their minds.
Harley opened the front door and cleared her throat to the get the men standing there’s attention.
“Here, one of you has’ta go get all of these things on this list, got it?” She tried to be commanding and authoritative. It reminded her a bit of trying to give orders as a doctor in Arkham, but no. It was definitely different and she needed to stop thinking of that place and focus on the present.
The men didn’t know why she was trying so hard to be bossy. They had to do anything she or the twin clowns asked, or else they were dead. That was it. They had accepted this fate, for now.
Besides, the looks the twins were giving them behind Harley did manage to unsettle them as well.
“Yes ma’am, I’ll do that right away.” One of the men spoke up and nodded, turning to head for the car.
Harley couldn’t help grinning, feeling empowered a little that she could order these men around a bit too.
The Joker considered it. She needed to get out of here anyway.
And now their van was full of space, thanks to Catwoman.
She hugged back, a grin spreading over her face in spite of the headache.
“Did those dogs of yours ever get fed?”
“Hah, y’know, they probably were. My guys have been pretty loyal lately, but I’m sure a little extra meat wouldn’t hurt.”
He chuckled some more as they both got up and he went to unlock the door so they could get out.
The Joker couldn’t stop grinning now as they headed back over to where Selina and Holly were taking out cages.
“Almost done?” He asked.
“Yes, thankfully..” Selina eyed the grins on their faces and realized they’d disappeared to another room together..
She really didn’t want to know what those grins meant now.
“Good, because we have work to do, and we’re sure you two don’t want to take part in it. Unless you’ve suddenly grown a taste for mutilation, hm?” He wiggled his eyebrows.
Holly made a horrified face and hurried out. These were the last cages she was helping Selina move out. She was not coming back in here for anything else.
(Source: thejokenobodygets)
The Joker sneezed. Once. Twice. Three times.
Her head was pounding. She couldn’t tell if that was because of some sort of magical hangover, or if she was allergic to cats.
Either way, her face was burning over the events of the day.
“Yeah, let’s never speak of this again,” she muttered.
He grinned and threw an arm around her, immediately squeezing her to his side as he laughed.
“Sounds good to me, little sister!”
And then he realized something.
“So uh, what’re we gonna do with the pile of dumb henchmen in that other room?” He raised his eyebrows, hoping she had a good idea.
After all, even if she wasn’t cat crazy, it had to be obvious those men had still failed when Selina busted through and knocked them all out.
(Source: thejokenobodygets)
The twins hugged back. As bad as garlicky bread sounded, maybe Harley knew how to make it in a way that wasn’t horrible. It had to be better than any of the food at Arkham.
It struck Harley how complacent Jack and Jacqueline were now in comparison with how they’d been just a day or so ago. Was that because she’d broken them out of confinement twice? Or would they respond this way to anyone who bothered being kind to them?
She felt anger at the GCPD and Arkham again, though this time it was a dull ache rather than the raging fury from before. They really were just abused children. If anyone ever bothered to treat them like people, they might be able to turn their lives around even now.
Though Harley had to admit, breaking the twins out of the asylum and especially knocking the Commissioner out of the van had felt wonderful. She wasn’t sure she could go back if she tried now. This life, minus the murder and cannibalism, was growing on her.
She forced herself back to the task at hand and continued to write the grocery list.
They’d need more than just food as well. Toliet paper, toothpaste, face paint for Jack and Jacqueline - and herself, she supposed, if she was going to be out and about with them - and more.
Having written down everything she could think of, she turned to the twins.
“Is there anything you guys want?” she asked.
Likely the answer would be something like an entire raw cow or jumbo Pixi Stix or something else impractical. Still, it didn’t hurt to ask.
And she doubted their biological parents ever included them in shopping decisions.
The twins had to think outside of food since they’d told her all they knew they liked.
But then their heads looked up- one right after the other -in realization.
“Could we get board games and crayons like you said before?” They asked together. Before clearly meaning before all the mess with the GCPD and Batman.
Harley nodded. “That’s a good idea. Now what kind of board games could we get. Hmm. Do you guys know any?”
Once again they frowned a little and shook their heads.
Harley felt so sad that they had never at least gotten a chance to try board games in their lives.
“Well, let’s see, I know games like monopoly and clue. Monopoly is about buyin’ properties and banks and bankruptin’ other people.” She made a face. “It’s not for everyone. I’ve played it long ago with my folks and it was um, well.. things got hairy.”
The twins just gave her confused looks.
“Uh, anyways, clue is about a murder mystery and you have’ta find out who did it and what the weapon was and in what room they did it in.”
For another long, long moment, there was nothing. No appearance of any gray faces, no surge of energy through the room as magic took effect.
The Joker felt her eyes sting with tears again. So this was it. She was going to spend the rest of her life obsessed with kittens, living in a house with five hundred of them and knitting each one a little cat sweater.
Even in her current state of mind, it sounded like hell.
Then she heard a voice. She couldn’t say where it came from; it seemed to be both external and internal all at once.
“Your sister is no longer obsessed with kitties.”
She felt something within her. She couldn’t describe the sensation, only knowing that something within had changed. The clown held her breath, hardly daring to hope.
Her counterpart sat there beside her, slouched in a similar position she’d been in while near tears. He looked incredibly defeated.
How could he have been so stupid and so desperate to believe there was some sort of magical way to cure her? And even if there was, how could he have believed anyone magical and all powerful and omnipotent would want to help them?
He curled his hands in his lap into tight fists, starting to let rage replace his sadness, when this.. voice.. came out of no where.
It made his head whip up and look around, eyes wide and alert.
What the hell?!
But then he looked to his counterpart, and noticed her look.
”..Sis?”
(Source: thejokenobodygets)
13 minutes ago
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