Two Statements ♦ thegreasepaintedlady


She didn’t have any suggestions of her own.  Her own gymnastic lessons had happened in Arkham, which meant a big baggy jumpsuit.  It was doubtful he would have one of those lying around this place, considering how they hated those uniforms.

And when she stretched or flipped around in her apartment, she tended to be in pajamas.  The flips were easy enough in her suit now that she had them down, but the stretches were much more difficult.

Which meant she’d probably have to change too, to demonstrate.  ”Something loose you won’t trip on,” she said.  Beyond that, it shouldn’t matter as long as he didn’t chose something that would give him heatstroke.

He still frowned, not able to remember anything he had that was loose. Not without digging through his clothes.

He sighed and got up from the couch, looking ready to trudge away and go dig something up from his room.

When instead he started taking off all his clothes right there.

"What about if I just get down to my boxers, is that okay?”

(Source: thejokenobodygets)

International House of Passion || thejokenobodygets


She followed after him, occasionally glancing at the ground to make sure neither of them ran into rusted equipment and wound up dismembered.  Usually when she ran around, Harley was in charge of that sort of thing.  It was weird without someone to handle those things.

The clown and her counterpart were all Id, after all.  Caution wasn’t something that fit either of them.

"Whatcha looking for?"  He seemed pretty excited about whatever it was.

Which meant that when he found it, she’d be excited too.

He hurried along to where he saw a couple stands set up and old picnic tables littered around. There had to be some here. He slowed down as he started looking over the counters of the stalls.

Most of them looked empty except for a couple tennis balls, bottles, hoop rings..

But in one he noticed in the back a couple boxes stacked up. It was a game involving darts and balloons. Of course the balloons were all gone and only tiny remnants of the balloons were there on the ground and still up on the shelves where they were all set up.

But he jumped over the counter and moved right past that, to search through the boxes.

Sure enough, a ton of old prizes were in the boxes. Mostly toys, watches, jewelry, little hand held devices like those weird little electronic pet keychain things. He couldn’t say the name of them to save his life. Good thing they didn’t even work anymore.

But then he also found a ton of stuffed animals.

And when he found what he was looking for, he looked over his shoulder at his date and grinned.

"Close your eyes.” He told her and waited for her to do so.

Old Examinations


Joanne had been working at the Asylum for nearly a year, and she had just been delivered the file of what could probably be her hardest case yet. Dr Leland had caught her during a coffee break and had requested that they walk together. Joanne was well aware that Dr Leland was a man focused on work, and this was something that Joanne appreciated. 

"What is wrong John? You look rather worried." Joanne had asked as her and Dr Leland had slipped into step beside her. 

"We have a new patient, and none of the other psychiatrists would last two minutes in a room with him." John explained, running his fingers through his hair. It didn’t take much to figure out that he was stressed about this new patient. 

"The name?" Joanne asked, taking a quick sip of coffee from her mug. 

"We don’t know his real name, goes by the name of The Joker." John answered, a slight grimace on his face, as though he were anticipating a negative response from Joanne. She paused in her step, turning to face him fully. 

"The grease painted man who destroyed Gotham General?" Joanne asked quietly. She had her own opinion on this man, and she personally felt that his attempt at a social experiment had actually been very interesting, she had rather enjoyed it. John nodded in response.

"I need someone who can handle him, someone calm and controlled. I know you can do it Joanne." There was a slight note of pleading in his voice. It was rather disgusting to see if Joanne was honest, and she wanted to put an end to it quickly.

"Give me the case file, I will see him at five o clock this afternoon." Joanne responded, holding her hand out for the file. John handed the thin case file to Joanne who accepted it with a gracious smile. 

"Don’t let him intimidate you Joanne." John warned. Joanne’s response was to wave his concern away and walk off down the corridor alone, heading back to her office. 

Five o clock had arrived and Joanne was sitting in one of the patient interview rooms, a pen in hand and notebook in the other. She never used clipboards. She was waiting for her new patient to arrive with a disinterested, almost bored expression on her face. 

The door swung open and Lola Bolton, one of the strongest security guards Arkham had, was dragging the patient in. She practically was lifting the man off his feet, and he looked to be taller than her. But he was clearly very skinny now that they saw him without his famous purple suit, and the Arkham jumpsuit looked baggy on him.

Plopping him down in the chair that was bolted to the floor, Bolton proceeded to cuff him to it as well.

They were not taking any chances with him possibly managing to somehow reach across and grab the doctor.

As this was done, the man proceeded to stare on at his new doctor, his tongue going to work wetting his lips.

Ah, she looked just as boring as the rest of the people in this place did. Boring and serious and dead to the world. He did like her eyes, though. He’d give her that.

Bolton finished and straightened up. She looked over at Joanne seriously. “He gives you hell, just call to me and I’ll be in in two seconds.” She sounded like she’d already had had enough of this clown’s shit.

When she left the room, and they were all alone, Joker’s mouth twitched a little.

"I guess she uh, didn’t take it as a compliment when I told her I like a woman who can sweep me off my feet.”

Brucey and the Tramp ♠ dark-forest-knight






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International House of Passion || thejokenobodygets


"Mmkay."  Much as the Joker was enjoying her unicorn, the last thing she needed was to replace the kitten obsession she’d just shaken with a fake mythical creature obsession.  The odds of that happened were probably infinitesimal, but no sense in risking it.

She slid off the unicorn, stretching out.

"Where to?" she asked, slinking her hand back into his.  She’d picked the first ride, after all.  It was only fair that he got to pick the second one.  Or were dates supposed to be that the girl chose everything?  No, that would be stupid. 

He sighed, looking at the bumper cars and the ferris wheel, and then the funhouse. The funhouse should be saved for last, but the other two didn’t look like they’d do much..

And then Joker got an idea.

Come with me, my dear!” He said, rather naturally and not trying to make up a pet name this time.

He practically ran, tugging her along, hoping what he was looking for would be here. What would an amusement park be without them?

Two Statements ♦ thegreasepaintedlady


She stood, stretching her back out until she heard a loud crack.  ”Mmmkay.”  Surely she’d be able to teach the stretches.  And if she did turn out to be hopeless at the acrobatics themselves, there had to be instructions somewhere online.  Or they could kidnap an aerobics instructor.

Her biggest concern was her counterpart’s height.  He was even taller than Harley, who said he’d almost been too tall for gymnastics.  But then, that probably only applied to things like the bars.

"Got any other clothes?”  The Joker loved his suit as much as her own, but it wasn’t a good thing to stretch around it.  Not unless he minded potentially ripping the seams.

Joker frowned to himself as he thought it over. “Uh, I’ll.. have to check. I’m not sure what this’ll call for..” He may have good taste in fashion, but it wasn’t like he knew that much about what to wear in every situation.

Only time he did was when it was a specific disguise for a specific crime, like the cop uniform for the funeral parade and the nurse outfit for the hospital.

But what did this call for? Sweat pants and a hoodie maybe? like Rocky from the movie? Or maybe shorts and a jersey like top and a sweatband like those folks in work out videos?

(Source: thejokenobodygets)

Collection of Drabble Prompts
(none of these are mine shh)
I'm Sorry: My character feels guilty for being behind the wheel during the accident that left yours in the hospital.
Drunken Mistakes: Did they get married? What's going on? Our characters can't remember and have to piece together the night before.
Dark Siders: Flip character alignments
Scream: My character has caused yours to scream out for some reason
Graveyard: My character will visit your characters grave
Spectre: My character will be visited by your character’s ghost or vice versa
Dream: My character will have a dream about your character
Nightmare: One of our characters will have a nightmare.
Busted: Your character will catch mine doing something they shouldn’t.
Break Me: I will write an angsty drabble about our characters.
Comfort Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character comforting yours- vise versa.
Drink Me: I will write a drabble about my character taking shots with yours.
Dominate Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character dominating yours. Or vise versa.
Embarrass Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character saying or doing something embarrassing to himself or to your character.
Haunt Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character watching over yours [as a ghost, watching from a distance, or otherwise, feel free to specify.]
Hunt with me: I’ll write a drabble about your character and mine on a hunt together.
Join Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character giving your character an offer
Kill Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character killing yours.
Nurse Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character healing yours.
Raise Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character resurrecting yours. Vise versa.
Surprise Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character surprising yours. Vise versa.
Save Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character saving yours or vise versa.
Shoot Me: I’ll write a drabble about my character shooting yours or vise versa.
Torture Me: I’ll write a drabble about your character torturing mine or vise versa.
Deny Me: my character will either deny your character’s advances or deny them a ’ happy ending’
Lick Me: my character will lick yours in any specified place or manner.
Suck Me: my character will suck on any body part of your character
Tease Me: my character will tease yours, whether in a friendly or a sexual manner
Bite Me: my character will bite yours on any part of their body
Blindfold Me: my character will blindfold yours in order to have their fun
Meet Me: My character is meeting yours either for the first time or just causally.
Slap me: my character will slap yours. In the sexual manner, or of anger. specify.
Call Me: My character will call your character for whatever reason.
Hug Me: My character will hug yours. Either by surprise or for a specific reason.
Give Me: my character will give yours a gift
Sleep: My character needs to stay at your character’s house for the night, or vise versa. Specify.
Drink: My character will call, text, or show up at your character’s house drunk. Specify which of the three.
Heal: My character will tend to your character’s wounds, or be at their side when they’re sick.
Protect: My character keeps yours safe from harm.
Kiss: My character kisses yours, or vise versa. Specify.
Dream: My character wakes up in the middle of the night because of a dream with your character in it.
Revenge: My character will get revenge on yours.
Jealousy: My character gets jealous over yours.
Hallucinations: My character will have hallucinations about your character.
Candle: Our characters spending time together by candle light.
Gift: My character gives your character something special. Or vise versa. Specify.
Spell: I’ll write my character putting a spell on yours. Or being under a spell/curse.
Song: My charcter singing a song to yours, or vice versa.
Gloves: How my character deals with news from yours, Specify
Snow: Our characters in the cold together.
Rain: I’ll write a fluffy drabble of our characters kissing in the rain.
Kill: I’ll write a angst drabble of my character violently killing yours.
Love: I’ll write a drabble of my character admitting they love yours.
Lust: I’ll write a drabble of our characters making love together.
Date: I’ll write a drabble of my character taking yours out on a date.
Defend: I’ll write a drabble of my character protecting yours.
Fight: I’ll write a drabble of my character fighting with/against yours.
Trick: Your character and mine being sneaky together
Treat: Your character and mine being sweet to one another
Costume: Your character or mine, dressing up for the other
Stars: Our characters under the stars together
Snow: Our characters in the cold together
Scarf: Your character or Mine borrowing/stealing clothes from the other
Hot Cocoa: Our characters enjoying a hot moment together.
Candles: Our characters enjoying a moment by candlelight
Gift: Your character or mine, surprising the other with a present
Bows: Your character or mine, dressing/undressing the other
Peppermint: Your character or mine, sharing a sweet secret with the other.
A Little Sleepy: Your muse falling asleep on my muse.
Cuddles: Our muses cuddling.
Mmph!: Our muses accidentally kissing.
A Little Messy!: Our muses being adorable cleaning up a mess together.
Hold Me...: Your muse has had a nightmare and comes to cuddle mine for safety.
I Kind Of...: My muse confessing that they love yours.
Don't Leave Me!: Your muse is dying in my muses arms and mine is frantic, doesn't want to lose you, and doesn't know what to do about it.
Better Me Than You: My muse sacrificing themselves to save the life of yours.
Goodbye: My muse dying in your muse's arms.
A Click And A Bang: My muse accidentally killing yours.
Together Or Not At All: Our muses dying together, telling all their secrets and confessing things.
detective-sherlockholmes started following you

Joker loved strolling along Gotham’s streets deep in the night, when the only folks who dared to come out were criminals and murderers, thieves, or freaks like him.

But as he walked along, he didn’t ever expect to come across a man dressed like he jumped out of an old classic book or just came from a costume party..

Or was he one of those.. ugh.. roleplayers?

He’d certainly come across a few of those wearing- or trying to pull off VERY POORLY -his own outfit and make up.

He figured since they were pretty much running into each other on the same sidewalk, he’d bite.

"Evening, sir.” He said, mouth twitching and trying to hold back grinning. “Are you running late for a tea party? Or trying to find the nearest horse and carriage?”